So I was watching a moment of Breakfast TV this morning which is very unlike me it really is and there was this woman in a garden with a wallpapering table and some wallpaper. What she was doing was she was giving a ‘tip.’ It was all very phony. What you did was you trimmed up this piece of wallpaper to large poster size, ‘not worrying about the edges too much as the dado rail would cover them.’ Oh, I thought, how’s that? Here was how: you went indoors from the garden and hung the paper on the white wall behind the sofa. Next you stuck four lengths of pre-mitred dado rail around the paper (using ‘glue nails’ out of a mastic gun) to make ‘a feature’. I swear it killed me, it really did. The paper was amazing, from the sliver and blue floral holographic range. Anyway, that’s my job for the day if I ever get out of this place.