It reminded me of the much lamented Book of Football Lists ‘Fashion Disasters’ List in which Very Bad Strips were considered in order of de-merit. There was never any doubt that the winner would be the ‘Hull Tiger’ circa 92/93 season.
That List in Full:
Twelve Fashion Disasters
Are they designed by living designers with a big flouncy qualification in designing garments, or do alien football Gods highjack a first year graphic design student and beam his creations into club shops in the dead of night?
1. Hull’s 1992/3 ‘tiger’ kit. Inspired by car seat covers for a Ford Granada.
2. AEK Athens: in the 1998/99 season the Greek side dispensed with their yellow and black stripes in place of a monstrosity featuring a huge black doubled-headed eagle – the club’s logo – splashed across the front. Very Goth.
3. Everton’s mid 90s salmon pink. Juventus made this mistake too. FACT: pink is not a colour to wear while playing football.
4. Wales’ new millennium skin tight red. Whereas six-packed Italian demi-gods can get away with this style, John Hartson cannot.
5. Stoke City’s 1980s pin stripe ‘Ricoh.’ Was supposed to be red, but the dye used was so cheap it turned out orange: one wash and it bled to pink.
6. Norwich City’s mid 90’s yellow & green ‘broccoli and parsley sauce vomit’ design.
7. Sheffield Wednesday’s ‘Chupa Chups.’ It doesn’t matter how nice a shirt is, you’ll always ruin it by plastering a yellow & red logo for a Spanish lollipop on the front, especially one designed by Salvador Dali (true fact: in 1969 the surrealist took time out from painting melting watches and burning giraffes to create the lollipop logo.)
8. Derby County’s inaugural kit replicated the colours of the county cricket club (who founded DCFC), and who saw it as a way of cashing in on the game’s popularity to boost their own finances; the 1884 side therefore turned out in a chocolate, amber and pale blue strip. Derby, who seem to be specialists in this category, tried out a Third Division away kit in the mid 80s which was described by a local radio commentator as their ‘Moulin Rouge tarts’ outfit.’
9. Coventry’s 1978 chocolate brown away strip with cream ‘piping.’ Winner of an internet poll for worst shirt of all time. Looked good with a mullet.
10. Man United’s 1995/6 hide-and-seek grey. *
11. Bristol Rovers enjoyed five minutes of fame as they alarmed the country by decking themselves out in blinding tangerine and lemon quarters in the 1987/88 season.
12. The self-designed goalkeeper shirts of Jorge Campos. What’s the Mexican for ‘You’re looking sharp, Jorge?’ Think class six claimer’s jockey silks and you’re still nowhere near the awful reality.