The Sunday Papers

When I first discovered Sunday broadsheets I absolutely loved them, I could spend all day reading and learning from their pages (particularly enjoyable when I was a room service waiter at Claridge’s and was getting paid for it). I remember traveling from Euston to Stoke in 1982 reading an in depth piece (Insight, I think it was called) about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict for practically the whole of the journey. It was like a history book to me, that, and the sports pages seemed to be written in a sort of poetry too. That’s all evaporated now; the Observer is put together by three journalists, all of whom are Kathryn Flett, and the Sunday Times has a feature called EAT LIKE A CAVEWOMAN and get the body you were born to have illustrated by a picture of a nude model so that stockbrokers can … well, you know what.

But of course the main reason I can’t be doing with them now is that I can trace the bitching and, more often, the back scratching that goes on in the books pages. In one notorious incident one Observer staffer’s latest tome was reviewed twice in the same edition, once in the books pages and once in the sports. Quite surprisingly it was the greatest book of it’s kind ever written as well, and not just once, but twice. This sort of thing can only make one hurl.

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27 Responses to The Sunday Papers

  1. Stephen Foster says:


    Get theesen News of World youth, full of luvvly ladies and stories abite dogs and budgies.


  2. Stephen Foster says:


    What’s wrong wiv piktures of naked women winger you class betraying gayer? x)


  3. Stephen Foster says:

    /greyman markelt

    I like the recipes.

    //greyman markelt

  4. Stephen Foster says:

    /Dallas Cowboy Calvin Jax

    It’s all tpyos now, not like the old days of hot metal.

    //Dallas Cowboy Calvin Jax

  5. Stephen Foster says:


    aye up me youT this blog is weell boring inneet i don”t kno why thee bothers 🙂 😉 …,, xxx


  6. markelt says:

    I gave up on papers years ago after reading a horrific report about a child abuse case while on the train. I just thought it wasn’t doing me any good knowing this stuff. I now rely on osmosis to know what’s going on. I have read Sunday papers and they’re all crap one way or another.

    Every year Private Eye draw attention to the background to book reviews and linkages between reviewers and reviewees don’t they?

    I was recommended Walking Ollie on the Kindle the other day and read the reviews out of interest. Some of the opinions were ridiculous.

  7. Stephen Foster says:

    The best review of WO on Amazon is the one I wrote, but I think that’s the same for all authors 🙂

    Private Eye regularly draw attention to the plugged in/payback nature of the book pages before savaging some writer for their own lofty reasons.

  8. markelt says:

    When I say some of the opinions were ridiculous, I meant the bad ones of course.

    I have just read a very poor collection of short stories. It gives me more hope of publishing stuff than reading the good stuff.

  9. calvininjax says:

    Yup, newspapers ain’t what they used to be.

    The Daily Telegraph’s piece on Nat Lofthouse began, “Nat Lofthouse was born in Bolton Wanderers in 1925.”

    That was Saturday night. After I wrote a comment about that abomination and called on The Telegraph to get a grip, it was changed by Sunday morning to “Nat Lofthouse was born in Bolton in 1925.”

    I still wield some influence. 😉

    Hot metal was before my time but we did have a stone sub at The Birmingham Post, up until 1998, whose job was to check all the paste-up pages and make any corrections before they were sent off to be photographed and made into metal plates.

    I spent many a happy night as the stone sub and the crack with the former compositors, who had experienced the days of hot metal, made it a very pleasant shift indeed, even if it did last until 2:00 am.

  10. Stephen Foster says:

    2.oo am!?

    Eveyrbody Out!

  11. Daftburger says:

    I am most upset that the author of this blog thinks I’d stoop to the News of the World! I have a degree in English, don’t you know, and like nothing more than reading classic literature and visiting museums and art galleries.

    Isn’t it just the mindset of the minor celebrity author to think that other authors would only get good review because of some sort of nepotism. He then goes on to say his best review is the one written by himself. What a hypocrite! Maybe you’re not very good, you’re not very good, you’re not very, you’re not very, you’re not very good, Ha!

    P.S. If you want tits and fannies go for the Sunday Sport, sport! 😛

  12. OS says:

    >Eveyrbody Out!

    Looks like we could do with an editor on this blog.


    What’s wrong wiv piktures of naked women winger you class betraying gayer? x)


    That, winger, you could attribute to my troglodyte son-in-law, and not to me. I prefer the good old fashioned Health and Effcciency, although, as an adolescent lad, I could never work out the ‘efficiency’ part when I was ogling big boobs.

    As for newspapers… I don’t read them, and I take very little notice of other media outlets. They’re like society of today: all sensation and no heart, and the blame-game is the name of the game… and they pander to the lowest common denominator, because the LCD is the norm in our society.

    What worries me is the speed it is happening. We all seem to be plunging into the same morass occupied by the LCD. Somebody, somewhere, has to change direction, or all will be lost. That’s why it’s important that artists and writers and poets and proper newspaper editors keep their heads above the pig’s trough. But, as winger has pointed out, even those people are now being denigrated by bitching between their own kind, just to curry favour, or to earn a quick shilling, which is the opposite of what they should be doing. But, artists have to earn a living, too. So they are faced with a choice, and it’s a difficult one. Very few have the courage or means to be independant of the society they live in… hence artists have to cater for the LCD. But that doesn’t make it right. That’s why I enjoyed Trezza’s latest book so much. She threw convention to the wind and wrote what SHE wanted to write, in her own unique way, and to hell with the consquences of some hormonal bitch currying favour for a quick shilling.

  13. OS says:


    Oh, and as for you, Greyers, you disappoint me!!! You have enough talent, and have had enough experiences (good and bad) to write a book. So, why haven’t you? I’ve seen an example of what you can do when you write from the heart, so, instead of pissing about, jousting socialogical issues with pseudo-intellectuals, do some proper stuff!!! Why you and winger haven’t done a joint effort is beyond me!!! I really should kick both your asses!!!

    *!!! done because I know they piss you off!!! 😉


  14. Stephen Foster says:

    I offered to edit and to pretend to co-write his middle-class Kyle for him but as yet I haven’t seen an effing word!!!

    He’s just an idler.

  15. OS says:

    >He’s just an idler.

    I don’t think its that. He’s not idle… he just gets his priorities wrong and spends too much time on things he can’t influence. I need to pull him down from his balloon in the clouds before he runs out of gas.

    Will you pretend to co-write a gay novel for me? LOL. LOL. 🙂

  16. markelt says:

    The Kyle Affair is still running. You wouldnae credit some of it.

  17. Stephen Foster says:

    NO! LOL

  18. Stephen Foster says:

    * The Kyle Affair is still running. You wouldnae credit some of it. *

    Bestseller bestseller bestseller bestseller bestseller…

  19. calvininjax says:

    Wise words there, OS, regarding the LCD. I couldn’t agree more. Froth has overtaken substance in the media these days.

  20. markelt says:

    I may have to beef it up to class as misery porn but maybe we should just invent a new genre.

    I still think we need to combine misery porn with teenage repressed vampire sex. Publishers would get that.

  21. Stephen Foster says:

    Write what you know Eltringham, it’s rule one; though I take your point.

    “Please mummy don’t the girl with the dragon tattoo got in first” does have a ring.

  22. markelt says:

    It’s a start. If we could weave in some vampires, a masonic plot, the search for Mr Right, Nazis, Jeremy Clarkson and set it in Ancient Rome, it would fly off the shelves

  23. OS says:

    Indeed it has, Calvin. That’s why its important that the ‘old school’ continue to make the ‘young school’ look like the naive children they are. I giggle, sometimes, at your one-man crusade against the Banana Republic you now live in, and I’m proud of you when you give them some gip about their moral/immoral issues.

  24. OS says:

    …if we…

    There we go again! Do eeeet!!!

    I reckon you need a gee up from Pottermouth!!! 🙂

  25. Stephen Foster says:

    I have a message for you from my Sis OS; ahem, clears froat, as follows:

    Tell him I am not happy about him perving over pictures of me when I was thirteen but on the other hand as I am quite old now and have no abs when I do my stomach crunches just a belly I will take any compliments coming my way as not too fussy and something is better than nowt. Now tell him to do several : )

  26. OS says:

    Tell her that she was a reet sexy sod, and that in my fantasies, I revert back to about that age. That cuts out the paedo bit. I can’t do with this old man/young wench shit. That’s like spoiling a good wine with lemonade. 🙂

    Anyway, with my RE… she’s safe with me. Now I’ll do several… but I’ll bet she’s still a vivacious and sexy sod, even though she’s got a fat belly now. BTW, the girl of my dreams now is your missus, but even then I have to regress more than a few years to match her in the lurrrrvin’ stakes. 😉

    Hold on….

  27. Markelt says:

    Something has been stuck in my head about this thread and I’ve just realised what it is.

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