Rafa’s tic

I’m still spending my evenings watching tennis from the O2. I was thinking last night what a miracle it is that girls scream and hold signs up saying ‘Marry Me’ to a man who pulls his knickers out of an imaginary wedgie in front of millions of people hundreds and hundreds of times. He does it between every service and if he can fit in a quick extra while he’s waiting to receive he certainly will, in fact he will sometimes pull back, do a couple, and then hold his hand up to his opponent as if he had just had to pause to remove a fly from his eye; I average the tic at about seventy times a set. If he goes to five long sets he’s adjusting his pants 350 times a match. Sexuality is strange, but the mannerisms of racket sport are almost as strange. T was saying that she used to find Pete Sampras flicking his sweat off his brow more annoying that Rafa, but I say that was at least physical, this pants business is wholly psychological because no other player has ever suffered this problem which proves to me that non-wedgie pants are not hard to find, esp if you’re a millionaire. I imagine Roger’s are gold silk and monogrammed. I’m going to seek out a pair like that to wear with my new moustache.

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3 Responses to Rafa’s tic

  1. Daftburger says:

    Hates himself for saying it, but self loathing is good right amongst the poor misunderstood author?

    At least he doesn’t smell his fingers after, maybe that’s the next stage!! (grosses self out!)

    You’re really getting into this homoerotic hero worship at the moment, I bet you’d be a method actor! Will it be published as a book or an article?

  2. Chiffs says:

    Daftburger, Rafa does sniff his fingers! He uses the traditional disguise of wiping the sides of his nose, then puts some invisible stray hairs back behind his ears. The Wedgie has even got its own facebook page.

    Tics are one thing – imagine what it must be like to live with a man who wears an imaginary moustache and has an imaginary pair of monogrammed silk pants. . .

  3. Daftburger says:

    I can’t imagine what it must be like for you. Maybe I should read* more into your novels!

    *That’s if I ever read one. The Guardian review when i oggled you was not good! 😉

    read and read are spelt the same but sound different! Aint Ingerlish wonderful!

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