Tomorrow I will be writing my first ever ‘travel piece’ about a cruise that I persuaded T to accompany me on. It was only towards the end of our odyssey that I learned that she had spent most of the day counting the lifeboats and working out if there were enough to cater for the number of hard-core and dedicated tanners on board in the event of the sinking of the main ship. She don’t like boating. The ‘cruise’ journeyed up to the ancient island lagoon of Balos at the top end of the Cretan peninsula of Gramvousa (tickets here: 20 Euros + tax); I had imagined that it would be all art-deco Cunard & Evelyn Waugh sophistication (prompting T to ask what land I live in) whereas in fact it was more port-to-starboard, stern-to-aft Euro chavs cracking cans of Amstel from 10.30am and smoking fags, plus groups of short, steely-eyed elderly ladies from Russia wearing the most riveting fashion items I had seen so far, ie ‘shower-mule flip-flop-tights’ – these being items of hoisery that stretch half-way up the foot to the top edge of the flip flop line, presumably as some sort of anti-chaffing device, or else as an erotic provocation to attract the attentions of a very specialised breed of oligarch Roman Abramovich-influenced cruising foot fetishist…

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4 Responses to Kalispera!

  1. mum says:

    Hello Blog 🙂 Nise to see you back !
    Always enjoy my first laugh of the day . The “cruise” sounds great , bit like our ferry to Spain ( exept for the ruskies of course !) Lol xxx

  2. makemeadiva says:

    If that ship went down,
    Those beer cans would bob about
    With floating flip flops.

  3. Mich says:

    🙂 Yes. I had a similar expeience earlier on this year. Rule 1: Whilst on holiday with your partner, ALWAYS think twice about persueding them to go on an excursion / tour / cruise, unless you are absolutely 100% sure it can’t go wrong. I still come out in cold sweats thinking about the beautiful historical, quiet, serene City of St Omer in Northern France that I witnessed alone one winters day, but of course I took my Girlfriend in the height of summer for a romantic saturday night out, and it was absolutely full of drunken leary french chavs, young kids racing around the cobbled streets on scooters and police all over the place. I’ve learned my lesson now………..”I’m happy to do whatever you want to do sweetheart” is so much easier and a damned sight less painful.

  4. OS says:

    Oh, you’re back are you! About bloody time! 😦


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