Try this gizmo

Drop in a sample of your writing and see which famous writer you write like

Answers on the comments below. Mine was supremely disappointing but perhaps one of my dear blog visitors will be Shakespeare.

If anyone may wonder about the meaning of this picture, I was searching ‘the writing’s on the wall’ to illustrate this post and I just wilfed my way to it.

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29 Responses to Try this gizmo

  1. Chiffs says:

    James Joyce – so it’s obviously 100% accurate ; )
    I’m going to try another bit later and see who I am next time.
    Can’t wait to see who OS is – I’m guessing that it’s someone raunchy and thrilling.

  2. Stephen Foster says:

    I’m going for Barbara Cartland.

  3. Daftburger says:

    Kurt Vonnegut whoever he is! Got the gut bit right! 😛 I must send you my doggy story real soon!

  4. calvininjax says:

    Somehow I don’t see OS as Barbara, more Jackie Collins. 😉

  5. calvininjax says:

    David Foster Wallace. Who he?

  6. makemeadiva says:

    Dan Brown for the Aquatic Catastrophe. I wonder if it’s different for racing posts.

  7. makemeadiva says:

    You’ll have to guess who the Irish Oaks post was – no cheating – but it raised a smile 🙂

    Good find.

  8. Stephen Foster says:

    Dick Francis?

  9. Stephen Foster says:

    That’s not exactly a compliment but you could make a fortune if you wrote a quest adventure yarn…

  10. Stephen Foster says:

    Brilliant American literary writer of novel, short stories and essays. Did away with himself not so long ago.

  11. Daftburger says:

    Having researched Mr Vonnegut this is really kewl!

    In a 2003 interview Vonnegut said, “I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d’etat imaginable. And those now in charge of the federal government are upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography, plus not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka ‘Christians,’ and plus, most frighteningly, psychopathic personalities,or ‘PPs.'”

    ” In These Times quoted him as saying “The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.” 😀

  12. calvininjax says:

    I guess you knew I would be the one to do it.

    I typed in a paragraph from Arnold Bennett’s “Your America” and it threw out the name of Dan Brown.

    I would have thought it would have been a case of Dan Brown writing like Arnold Bennett but no matter.

    David Foster Wallace seems to have something in common with you, Stephen — a love of dogs and caring for those that have been neglected and abused by previous owners.

    What would we do without Google?

  13. markelt says:

    H P Lovecraft for me.

    I wish it was Vonnegut but so it goes

  14. makemeadiva says:

    PG Wodehouse


  15. Stephen Foster says:

    * Wizard! *

    # Better than being compared to a Canadian blogger anyway.

  16. Stephen Foster says:

    Never heard of him. Does he write the *Saucy stuff?

  17. OS says:

    *Fuck off all of you who’ve had a go at me.

    *A small ‘f’ for ChiffS. XX



  18. OS says:

    Oi, ChiffS.

    Almost forgot. (How could I?)

    Almst finished you r b ook.

    Vous et une genius…extraordinaire/ess

    Iwill write my o wn crtique for in clusion on this blogwhen I have finisherd. 😉

    OS. XXX

  19. Stephen Foster says:

    Spooky! he even looks like you.

  20. Chiffs says:

    Dearest OS, (h-h?) thank you.
    btw, I was not having a go – how could you suspect me? – only thinking about what Winger has told me about your novel, and how it was full of sex and nefarious goings-on. Shall I pass the small ‘f’ on to him, a la tete de cheval?

  21. OS says:

    Dear ChiffS.

    Forgive me. I am (at the momento) an angry old man. Why? I’ll tell thee.

    (I’ll try to mask my bad language.)

    Tuesday morn. Knock on the door. Young man stands there. “Ar’ve cum fit thee central ‘eatin’.

    Me: Cum thee in then. They shouldsta bin ‘ere yesterdee. Whees’t bin?

    Young man: Way wus busy.

    Me: Owrate. They’dst better start then.

    Young man walks in and peruses the property. He looks at me as if I’m mad. “Way conner start on this! They’st got move the furnichure.”

    Me (sitting in my office chair because the bad weather has made my back bad and I’m already in enough pain without this arsehole giving me stick): Wot’s thee name yewth?

    Young man: Lee.

    Me: Well, ar’ll tell the wot, Lee, they cost shift the furnichure or f*** off, because ar can tell thee fer nowt, ar anner shiftin’ eet. So, mak thee f****** mind up wot thee wonts do.

    Now, it’s almost done, and me and Lee are like this: **cross middle and index finger** He keeps laughing at me. I don’t know why. But he’s doing a good job, and he says he’ll make everything as clean as a new pin when he leaves.

    Ps. I was offline for two days. I nearly put my head in the oven but the gas has been switched off.

    Pps. Yes, pass the whatever through the cheval because he’s telling lies. The whole bloody exercise was that there was no sex in it. Just love. I’m not sure I shall live long enough to teach that boy all I know. I would have to live to 176 to do that. I think.

    OS. XXX

  22. Stephen Foster says:

    What bad weather?

  23. OS says:

    I’ve just thought. There was some sex in it. I forget things sometimes. 😦

  24. OS says:

    What bad weather?!!!!

    Pulis type bad weather ‘ere, boy. Dull as dishwater, and damp as as his nogger.

    Hold on…


  25. OS says:

    I’m going now. My back’s killing me and I need to lie down. I’ve smoked 40 fags today and every time I cough…..aaaggghhhh!


  26. Daftburger says:

    I took the liberty of putting that into the thingy and now your* H P Lovecraft!

    Hope you’re* back better although it’s persistenly raining in ‘Arts’ill’. 😦

  27. OS says:

    Amazing, daftbugger! Both have come up as superb science fiction riters. There must be a hint there. How about…

    ‘The Alien From The Valleys Ruined My Nogger Team.’ 🙂

    Sun; rain; dull, in’t sunny side of The City.

    GGOS. (Hon Umb) POC.

  28. Chiffs says:

    Dear Mr Lovecraft, may I say how appropriate that name is – I would’ve done that writer thing too but Mr NotSoDaftburger beat me to it.
    Once a big feller came to my door and said he had to install a new leccy meter. I showed him where. He told me the fridge was in the way and I had to move it. You move it, I said, You’re the one that wants to put a new meter in. Elfin Safety, he said, What about my Elfin Safety? I replied. He wasn’t like your Lee. Next, I showed him the door. Tch.

  29. OS says:

    Bravo, ChiffS. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.

    Hold on…


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