One of the saddest moments of my life

was when I left my Armani sunglasses on the side of a quay and then T accidentally kicked them into the sea. I dived in to save them but they got lodged in a deep crevice between rocks and I could see that the danger of trapping my wrist and thereby drowning was not the way to go. ‘He died trying to save his shades,’ has entirely the wrong ring of pathos about it. I have never been able to find another pair just like them, they were steel rimmed with thin wire arms, along the lines of an Aviator, but very distinct from that exact style.

In better news, Old Stokie, Swiss Tony who was 40, Mr Pink, Grey-Man, Grey-Man’s two boys Statts* and Joe (*who can tell you who Nigeria’s keeper plays for at club level without missing a beat), and Grey-Man’s border terrier Pip have been on the eastside for the weekend. Mr Pink arrived on his ferocious motorbike, which he likes to keep with him at all times in case something terrible happens to it while he’s away from S-o-T, such as it being accidentally kicked into the sea. We had tremendous larks except for one especially trying game of association football. Pip howled at Greeno’s blunder thereby frightening Dylan even more than she was already frightening him by being a terrifying 7-inch high Cheshire babe (though in my view she does look a bit like Galen’s wife from the original Planet of the Apes, which might have had something to do with it.)

It doesn’t matter how many times I lick his ankle, he flat refuses to be my boyfriend, the big wuss

I suppose I’ll just have to content myself with guarding Mr Pink’s crash-hat instead

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This entry was posted in And She Laughed No More, From Working-Class Hero to Absolute Disgrace (A Memoir and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to One of the saddest moments of my life

  1. Chiffs says:

    I love her.

  2. makemeadiva says:

    Now there’s a real WAG – send over to SA now 🙂

  3. makemeadiva says:

    *I have ankle-nipping in mind for a few grey suits

  4. markelt says:

    Stupid dog

  5. OS says:

    She’s guarding my sandals. Good dog, Pippa.

    Thanks for the sofa, Boy, but if ever you leave that phone in MY room again, it will find it’s way into the Yare.

    I still have THE key here. I’ve txt’d Eli but he hasn’t answered. He and Philip Boy are the only candidates left unless my hero, Ben, left it behind.

    I’ll sort some cruisers out for the next trip.

    Thanks, ChiffS, for putting up with those reprobates. I know it’s not easy. They’re like children. XXX (Sharon has taken the book immediately she set eyes on it. I’ll have to wait until she’s read it now.) She says to say a big ‘TA’ to you. XXX

    OPS.

  6. OS says:

    *OPS should read ‘OSPS’. 🙂

  7. OS says:

    Wot shall I do with this parking permit? 😉

  8. Stephen Foster says:

    Post it back here you thief, if you haven’t already sold it on ebay as usual : )

  9. Chiffs says:

    Was a pleasure, OS, and lovely to see you all. Now I’m busy knitting Winger’s sailor cap for the next Big Norfolk Adventure: Five Go Cruising down the River.

  10. OS says:

    ChiffS, I believe the modern idiom for ‘cruising’ has a different meaning?

    Ps. I managed to read up to page 14 and was absolutely enthralled with what I read. I think it was the first couple of pages when I was in the 21st century unless they had Ipods back in Victorian times. I’ll ‘steal’ the book back when Shaz isn’t looking. 😉

    Wingo: parking pass in 1st class post today.

    Still no more clues on the key.

    GGOS. X

  11. markelt says:

    It’s not mine m

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