London marathon

Could anything be more bloody conventional than this whole aggravating event? Because the BBC insists on covering it for hours on end, we’re supposed to think it’s a British Institution like the Changing of the Guard. It isn’t, it’s some Americo-Greek import which starts out with a bit of casual jogging and ends with a bandy-legged 93-yr old having to do 26 point something miles dressed as a rabbit as if this is enobling and life enhancing whereas it’s just plain stupidity. The only person I know who ran it buggered up his knee for life (because, of course, once it’s hurting like hell after 21 miles, you’re not going to stop now, are you?). There’s something about the enforced ‘jolity’ and of the fund raising and of the bleedin’ sponsorship (has anybody ever run it un-sponsored?) and the general air of Sunday School goody-goodiness about the whole thing that I find horribly repellent.

Also, all marathon-runners-in-training (joggers) these days are gormlessly plugged into an iPod and look at you as if to say, Out of my way, what the hell do you think you’re doing bringing a dog out into designated public training area? And then there’s Paula Radcliffe wearing flesh-coloured pop socks and a nose clip…

Don’t jog, jive

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10 Responses to London marathon

  1. calvininjax says:

    Now tell us how you really feel. 😉

    I think you need a cigarette.

  2. Stephen Foster says:

    That would hardly be appropriate: myself and Dylan are off out for a little Sunday morning run tout suite…

  3. Chiffs says:

    Marathon Running: licence to sh*t in the streets (or in Paula’s case, a bouncy castle as well)

  4. OS says:

    I think I’ll enter next year’s event. I love pi***g some people off. 🙂

    MROS

  5. Stephen Foster says:

    That is the only thing I can think of that could possibly give the event a facelift. How many fags do you think you’d get through in 26.something miles?

  6. Daftburger says:

    Excellent rant.

    Running is disrespectful to our forefathers and all those brilliant engineers and industrial heritage.

    If they went to all that trouble inventing the internal combustion engine who am I to disrespect them by running? If you see a runner on the road run them over!*

    *unless they’re chasing an escaping dog! 😉

  7. makemeadiva says:

    Perhaps you and OS could do it together in some oversized clown trousers – one leg each sort of thing.

    It could be for unfortunate men struck down by terrible taste in trouserwear.

    I’d sponsor you both.

    A lot.

  8. Stephen Foster says:

    Nice idea, & perhaps our clown strides could have a built in toilet for OS’s senior Paula-type moments en route of which there are bound to be a few.

  9. OS says:

    LOL @ diva.

    Those oversized clown trousers would need to have completely different legs. Mine would be sort of anything goes, but winger’s would have to be perfect: crease exactly right; pockets in one position only and of the correct depth; belt fitting; etc.etc.

    I take it you haven’t read ‘Strides’ or you wouldn’t be so flippant with the boy when it comes to his trousers. 😉

    OSx

  10. makemeadiva says:

    I hadn’t read it.

    Then I did and now I am committed to the rehabilitation of such poor afflicted men (I have one in similarly dire straits (work trousers) at home you know).

    I thought I’d try a bit of aversion therapy first up. It’s a 12 step programme…

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