Fetish object

We all have that item we regret not buying. For me, I am too frequently thinking about these Prada neckties that I was looking at in this boutique in SoHo last year. They were the perfect width (45mm) but I was already getting into some considerable plastic damage which meant I had to give pause for thought on an absolutely unnecessary purchase. I didn’t even ask the price which would most obviously have been $200 at least and then I would have had to have looked at the most chic and beautiful assistant as if to say, ‘Yes, that’s totally reasonable,’ while they looked back at me as if to say, ‘It’s absolutely de trop to inquire about prices in here and when did you last have a facial you utter, utter scruff. I’m astonished you had the nerve to walk in here dressed like that to be honest. Agrh, please don’t smile or I’ll have to see your English teeth.’

I wanted the green and black one. I don’t often need to wear a tie and when I do so out of choice people say, ‘Why are you wearing a tie?’

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18 Responses to Fetish object

  1. makemeadiva says:

    The remedy for this shopping dilemma is to make sure, in future, you only enter completely terrible places, like I have today, where you look at all sorts of hideous shoes and wonder why they wasted the leather cutting them out and cobbling them together in the first place, and then thinking that if you actually had to wear a pair you would die of boredom.

    Easy. Je ne regrette rien.

  2. Stephen Foster says:

    But I have already been there and I cannot unremember the narrow silkiness of the tray of desirable items.

    Hence:

    Je regret beaucoup.

  3. Stephen Foster says:

    Thanks, but to be honest that looks as though it could be a smidge too wide.

  4. makemeadiva says:

    Felt-tip, scissors = sorted.

    Jeez, some people ;-)

  5. calvininjax says:

    Neiman Marcus known in Dallas as Needless Mark-up.

    Don’t say you had not been warned. ;)

  6. calvininjax says:

    Why would you ever feel the need to wear a tie?

    Sounds a bit conformist to me. I thought novelists wore cravats or some other such bohemian neckwear.

    An illusion has been shattered.

  7. Stephen Foster says:

    I wear them rather loosely in a louche schoolboy manner if that’s any help : )

  8. Stephen Foster says:

    nb: OS wears a lovely cravat, we picked it up in the departure lounge of the East Midlands International airport.

  9. chiffs says:

    You told me that was a discarded paper napkin!

  10. markelt says:

    The only reason OS ever goes away with us is because he ends up with some new JGE accessories, panama hats, cravats, manbags etc.

  11. Daftburger says:

    So they use dollars in London now?

    The only item I regret not buying is an AK47…………..

  12. markelt says:

    You don’t need an AK47. Just carrying a bag around is enough to get a Yank shooting at you.

  13. Stephen Foster says:

    He looks a lot lovelier for it. We’ve made something of him now.

  14. OS says:

    My Panama hat (a gift from Eli) goes everywhere abroad with me. It has become my personal signature on foreign soil. It’s now battered from constant use, but that’s whole idea.

    My cravat (a gift from winger) adds that little touch of class; like painting an old gaslamp. Unfortunately, the radiance of the ‘gaslamp’ is somewhat dimmed by the flames of life, which negates any benefit of painting the bloody thing in the first place.

    As for the manbag: it was not a gift. I found that in next door but one’s bin when they were throwing it out. I retrieved it, cleaned it and it goes to stoke and abroad with me.

    As for winger’s dress fetishes, (me being not a very observant person) the only two I note are the admirable coat he wears and the way he drapes his scarf, which is as gay as Eli’s linen jackets. Buying that f*****g tie (I refuse to call then f*****g neckties) is more gay that Eli’s linen.

    *A note to readers: winger and Eli and I, along with our two companions; Mr Pink and Swiss Tony, find great delight on our European travels extracting the urine out of each other over dress sense. A more diverse grouping is hard to imagine. For instance, we once went to Monaco fully intending to get into the Casino de Monte-Carlo. Swiss Tony was wearing a death’s head t/shirt. Need I say more?

    GGOS.

  15. Stephen Foster says:

    A death’s head t-shirt with a considerable amount of fag ash down the front of it to be, ahem, deathly accurate.

  16. Daftburger says:

    I can confirm that OS does indeed wear a cravat!
    http://www.howardm.net/steptoe/images/wilfrid2.jpg

  17. OS says:

    Do one, Daftbugger. ;)

    GGOS.

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