The Magyar-Stoke interface

Since elsewhere – you and whose army? – George is showing such appetite for the battle, I am thinking of inviting him to become the inaugural ‘Honourary Classless Stokie,’ & am running this past us all from the work-in-progress, just to see, and to invite corrections…

The question on Jeff’s lips is the obvious one: Can the three-lunged beavers hang on?! Eventually the ‘numerical advantage tells’ and Boro win 2-1, Turkish ace Sanli Tuncay scoring the winner. In Berlin, in the summer before this season, I have witnessed the Turks celebrating a scintillating comeback-win in the quarter finals of the European championships. Berlin has the third-largest Turkish population on the planet, after Istanbul and Ankara. There are about three-hundred thousand Turks in the German capital. It is a German soldier in a bar who tells me this, a soldier who had been supporting Turkey during this game. ‘Of course.’ he says, when I ask him about his evident affiliation. ‘I would not support them against Germany, but against anyone else, definitely. They are here, part of my city: why wouldn’t I?’ After the match, three hundred thousand Turks drove out in the streets of Berlin and turned the place into a riot. We saw one face-painted maniac travelling down a dual carriageway standing on the roof of a car. AndyP, who is at Boro, texts to tell me the atmosphere in the away end has been a cracker with supporters apparently throwing themselves through the air when we scored. If Stoke were a nation, they would not be Hungarians,* they would be Turks crossed with Hungarians. Imagine a hybrid Magyar-Ottoman tribe and you get the flavour of being on the road with the Mighty Potters. We will offend many broadsheet commentators this season, being described as ‘raucous and bellicose’ by The Times and as ‘witless’ by The Guardian. It is, it seems, some time since a fundamentalist clan such as this one went on tour round this League.

Elsewhere on Gillette Soccer Saturday Blackburn Rovers are being stuffed 4-1 at Upton Park by West Ham, much to the delight of the home fans who have never forgiven new Rover’s manager and ex-Hammer Paul Ince for appearing in a tabloid newspaper wearing a Manchester United shirt before the deal had gone through, while he was still on the east end club’s payroll. Jeff and the boys are commenting on the speculation that Ince, one of the youngest gaffers in the Premiership, and the first black Briton to manage in the top flight, will not be in the job for long.

* a Hungarian connection has already been referred to earlier, hence the qualifier.

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12 Responses to The Magyar-Stoke interface

  1. AndyP says:

    Point of order from your “editor”… If you are going to mention me in dispatches in your tome, you should use the correct nickname of AndyP not Andy P! 😉

    Wasn’t my quote something like “the Stokies went berserk when we scored, people seemed to be flinging themselves through the air”? Hope you wrote it down because it was better than that!

  2. Stephen Foster says:


  3. AndyP says:

    I hope Mr Pulis noted that Chelsea v Liverpool Champions League game. Four-all? Now that IS entertainment. 🙂

  4. Stephen Foster says:

    I’m worried the Scousers might be after poaching SuperTone to tighten them up at the back.

    And the front.

  5. OS. says:

    “I have witnessed the Turks celebrating a scintillating comeback-win in the quarter finals of the European championships in Berlin in the summer before this season.”

    Ahem…Shouldn’t that read…

    In berlin, I witnessed the Turks celebrating a scintillating comeback-win in the quarter finals of the European championships in the summer before this season.

    Your version makes it look like the European Championships were held in Berlin.

    I’ll do some more editing when I have a mo. 🙂


  6. Stephen Foster says:

    Good point. My first drafts are right scruff; this wot I have put here is here is fortuantely about the 8th draft.

  7. OS. says:

    I’m on my 43rd draft of TRDB. 😉

  8. markelt says:

    The Really Dirty Boy?

  9. OS. says:

    Are you ‘talking’ to me, Eli? If so, I’ll reply. 😉

  10. markelt says:

    Yes. I wouldn’t trust your subbing to that keyboard-mashing iliterute Foster

  11. OS. says:

    Ah, then, my ‘Really Dirty Boy’ will be little Josh: a fine little fellow who gets through every trial and tribulation that life throws at him and emerges a star. Yes, he’s a randy little sod at thirteen (weren’t we all?) but matures quickly. He has many facets to his character: he’s as randy as you and winger and he even enjoys a bit of winger-type perversions which he [winger] picked up in The Smoke; the steadfastness of ST, and a temper like Mr Pink. His greatest asset is that by the time he’s thirty, he’s as wise as me. 😉

    The 1st draft was absolute rubbish. The 43rd draft is much better. My lass is reading it now.

    Winger’s problem is that he’s too busy, too middle class, too arty farty…and he’s too manly. Sharon read it and loved it. Her comments: “You write like a woman, Grandad. I loved the characters and when I’d finished it, I wanted a sequel.” And that was only the 3rd draft. T’will be a blockbuster if I can get it published. 🙂


  12. George S says:

    I’ve missed out on this, having sent my head on holiday elsewhere (partly reading and writing about your book). A Magyar-Ottoman tribe would be something of a historical first since the Ottomans were not popular occupiers of Hungary for over 150 years.

    Even absence hasn’t made the average Hiungarian heart grow much fonder.

    A classless Stokie? OK, just spare me the initiation ceremonies.

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