Monthly Archives: September 2010

I can’t believe it, a Tour de France winner has taken performance enhancing drugs. Again.

Cycling is the dirtiest sport going, isn’t it, it makes WWF look like Sunday school. I don’t know how sponsors and broadcasters can still be getting involved in it. And that’s without even considering the sheer tedium of watching ‘blokes … Continue reading

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The Legendary Putdown

‘Darling, you remind me of Marylin Monroe – not in looks of course, but in lack of talent.’ Film director Otto Preminger’s first words to Kim Cattrall of Sex in the City.

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Wednesday

Perhaps have a meal. Otherwise spend night in polishing shades in readiness for the weekend which starts tomorrow.

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So

Tuesday as a twenty year-old amounted to more Monday. I spent a night two weeks ago watching Stoke play Aston Villa in a quayside bar in Crete. The situation was this: since I was the only person there with an … Continue reading

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When I was twenty-odd

I had the passing thought tonight that I could recreate a week of my life as a twenty year-old. I wondered if I’d still be alive after seven days of it. Monday to Friday I’d complete a day’s manual work … Continue reading

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I’ve got a little job for the Taliban

psst, the Daily Mail offices are at: Northcliffe House 2 Derry Street Kensington, London W8 5TT. Make sure you get the right floor lads. Out of Wedlock I don’t believe I’ve heard that expression since I was in a Methodist … Continue reading

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Via mobile phone

It’s stopped doing that Andy Warhol thing it did with Doris. The reason Dylan is looking so intent is that there’s half a slice of Bakewell tart on my plate on the floor.

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