Health & Safety Drones # 2475

I had a caretaker* refuse to empty the bin in my UEA office today as it was ‘contaminated.’ It’s only supposed to have paper in it; it had a banana skin too – this was the contamination. I offered to remove the offending item but that would have been a meaningless and futile gesture – the ‘contamination’ had already occurred and was irreversible. What was I to do with the contents then? I asked. The answer was that I had to walk three paces across the corridor and empty the whole of the infested material into a different bin, one that could deal with this post-nuclear-type situation. This other totally hardcore vessel was of the flip-top plastic variety, like you have in the kitchen.

  • deliberate provocation for the thought police
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12 Responses to Health & Safety Drones # 2475

  1. AndyP says:

    That’s right blame the poor bloke for doing his job after your banana error! ;-)

  2. AndyP’s right. The unzipped banana is the thin of the wedge. It’ll be orange peel next time, courtesy of your new USA gadget. Who knows where it will all end. Used condoms and battery shaver cleanings. It’s clear that the bloke or bloke-ess was doing a good job. Hardly the Himmler type that you’ve painted herm.

    And now unfortunaetly I must watch the slaughter of the innocents in cardiff on ARD with German commentary: Come on you Taffs! The manager’s useless. We should’ve stuck with Sparkie.
    As for the German’s Löwe is speaking in the next room of the danger of over confidence. Our only hope is that the whole German team has the Grippe (flu). One has already been sent home with it.

  3. Stephen Foster says:

    (S)he was lucky I didn’t mention the Gestapo and the Kapos and how they were ‘only doing their jobs.’

  4. Julie Hill says:

    If the thought police do come knocking on your door, think, “I’m out”. (sorry it’ an old one I know)

    I never thougth of you as a bin criminal. Until now. You naugthy little monkey!

  5. calvininjax says:

    Haven’t we bin here before with the used coffee cup saga? ;)

  6. anjali says:

    did you ever hear about the time an actual mad lady came and howled in the corridor outside an Issues in Fiction class?

  7. Stephen Foster says:

    Julie, the old ones are the best ;–)

    Calvin, I think you might be right, – this blog seems to be more committed to responsible recycling than some.

    Anjali: No, I didn’t. What were the actual mad lady’s Issues?

  8. You could take your new orange-peeler gadget to work. I dare you!

  9. Stephen Foster says:

    I don’t think it’d get past the security scanner.

  10. chiffs says:

    Anjali, as I’m sure you’re aware, working at UEA can be ‘challenging’ with or without bin ‘issues’, she’d probably just
    THE REST HAS BEEN DELETED BY THE SECOND THOUGHTS POLICE

  11. OS. says:

    Calvin: thank you for the reminder. I thought I was having a mental moment of Day Ja Voo.

    Foster Boy, any fule no a banana skin does not belong in a waste paper basket. You were being provocative just because you’re an awkward bugger. Just as you were with the coffee cup. Had you placed the items in the proper receptacles, (a banana skin basket or a coffee cup basket) it would have saved us all a lot of time and effort.

    M. le etc…

  12. anjali says:

    I’m not sure, but professor Foden had to call security and she was led away, though not before she roamed the corridor outside the class, still wailing. She’d begun by wailing on the concourse outside the Arts building, so that there appeared to be a certain inevitable attraction towards the Issues class.

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